Yucatan Suckerman
Hello? Hello? What did you doing? Who's this? This is Lars. Lawrence? From the band. From the band? What band? From...Yucatan Suckaman. I don't know who you are, what's up? I play, ah...maraca. You feel me, or what? chuckles Do you even know who you're talking to? You ever heard Crossfire? No... Been in the crossfire? You...you even know who you're talking to...? That's me...on conga, and...maraca. Who you wanna talk to? I'm trying to get ahold, ah...of someone who lives adjacent to me. ''' Adjacent to you where? '''Nearby. I need to move, ah...move, ah...this, ah...bundle of piglets, I got. Piglets?! ''I don't know even know who the fuck you are, dude. Later. '''Wha...' What...who do you, who do you...who do you, who do you think you're talking to? To charity. To who? To...they're going to charity, and I need somebody to help me move 'em. Then, who...who do you...what's my name? I'm Lars. I'm from the band Yuc-''' I don't even know who the fuck you are, dude. 'Yucatan Suckaman. ' Well, go Yucatan suck-your-own-self. Later. '''You never heard of us? --- Hello? Yeah, howdy...this is Lars, calling...I'm a percussionist. How the fuck did you get this number? The operator. What's my name? I just need help...moving these piglets, it's, it's...like 45 minutes, max. [Piglets?!] Yeah! What the fuck are you talking about, dude? You don't even know who the fuck I am! Do you know who I am? No! One of the most famous maraca players... I...I could fucking care less what...the fuck you do! Percussionist. I don't give a shit, dude. You don't even know who I am. Why don't you help me out? This is for charity! I don't even know who the fuck you are, dude. There are 45 piglets, and I need to move 'em... Well, move 'em yourself, what the fuck are you doing...just calling numbers, ah...at random, or what? You live nearby me! ''' Where do you live? '''Nearby. It's about a 45° angle. You never... How did you get this number? From the phone...the operator. Ah...this is an unlisted fuckin number, dude! Like hell it is! Yeah, it is! Look, I know tae kwon do... I don't give a shit! I know kung fu, kara-te... I don't give a shit! Why don't you come over here, then? Ex... Knock on my door! Kickboxing... Come...come knock on my door! I'll knock on your...chinbone. Well, come on! I don't... I'll put my shoes on right now! For what? Well...come over here, and try your 'kwon do on me! You wanna kickbox? Yeah, yeah...come on over! I thought maybe after we're done, we go out and do a little butt slappin', how's that sound? What the fuck's wrong with you, man? What's wrong with you, pal? This is for charity! ' I don't give a shit! What the hell are you calling over here, for? 'laughing 'Cause you're nearest to me, and I need help! Dude...you don't even know...the number, I don't even know what the fuck's going on here... Yucatan Suckaman, name of the band. Caught in the Crossfire. How did you get this fuckin' number, dude? The Extended Jam? You...I know you've heard that. ' I don't give a shit who you are, dude! I don't give a fuck if you played with the Beatles! That doesn't mean shit to me! '''You're fixin' to get caught in the crossfire of my feet...if I come down there. ' Well, come on! Come on! 'I'mma ''kickbox y'ass! Dude, don't call over here again...I'm gonna tell you that right now. Just meet me outside. Come knock on my door! Well, you come over here! We'll get started. Where the fuck you at, punk? I got a pitcher of water, we'll get you all juiced up, we'll get these piglets where they belong. It's your duty to help me out! ' ''My duty...are you fuckin' sick or what, dude? '''I'm sick of your crap! What...well, give me your address! I'll be right there, and we'll settle this. I'm in Suite 422. In Suite 422? Yep. On what street? None of your business! ''' laughs Well, there ain't no Suite 422 around here, dude. '''I'm from the band Yucatan Suckaman. Yucatan Suckaman? You... Well, why don't you suck yourself off...and stop harassing people. There's 45 piglets in a bundle here, that are...going to suffer as a result of your negligence, pal. This is for charity! ''' Dude...suck yourself. '''Why don't you step up to the plate? What's your address? That's confidential. Confidential...you're full of shit. You're full of hot air, if you ask me. Well, come over here and I'll show you how much hot air I can dish out! Come on, big man! What's your address? I'll go over to your place! Gimme an address. It's a private residence. Are you scared, or what? Come...come knock on my door! Knock on my door! Category:Music Category:Animals Category:George